Translations For What My Inspirational Quotes on Instagram Actually Mean

Satire

Each inspirational quote will turn you into a god

Hi friend,

You may have seen me posting a bunch of inspirational quotes on Instagram lately that leave a strange and cryptic impression. They fire people up like an engine and make people feel good while not necessarily doing much.

They make people feel inspired without actually inspiring them to take action, which makes me not only a self-help Instagram influencer but the best self-help Instagram influencer.

All the other self-help influencers just promise to make you happy. I will make you a god.

I’ve gained 100,000 followers on Instagram by just rehashing inspirational quotes and putting cool backgrounds on them. This has been incredibly fun and a dopamine rush for just making myself an influencer. It’s okay I’m not actually changing my life by using inspirational quotes on Instagram — what matters is I feel like I’m changing my life.

I instantly go to write my book after posting an inspirational quote on Instagram and then quit a minute later. All I have to do is post a Gandhi quote about being the change you want to see in the world instead of actually giving to the homeless person staying a block away from me.

My inspirational quotes on Instagram actually mean I’m spending my whole day there rather than actually doing anything. Instead of actually going to the ocean, I’d rather look at the ocean through pictures on my phone. Instead of accomplishing something, I’d rather be motivated to accomplish something and get an adrenaline rush from the feeling. I’d rather feel amazing than actually do the dishes and take out the trash. Instead of trying to do something, I’d rather not try.

I can change the world by posting motivational quotes from all sorts of famous people. I started my account with my own inspirational quotes, but I figured why use my own when I can just copy the success of others and make money doing it? Even the inspirational quotes I do make are just words I changed around slightly to prevent being sued for plagiarism — especially when they’re from famous dead people like Albert Einstein…

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